


Neglected husband

by MavisDracula81



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:13:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23476015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MavisDracula81/pseuds/MavisDracula81
Summary: Bobby dealing with Athena, who is being distant with him due to everything that's going on with Michael
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash
Comments: 12
Kudos: 33





	Neglected husband

**Author's Note:**

> This is not the first stuff, written on this subject, and the purpose of why I decided to come up with it, was only self-therapeutic. I must say, as a person, who is overly invested into these characters, I'm almost depressed now observing how their relationship suffer by Athena's estrangement. So I just try to hold it all together in my head, to imagine all possible versions of their conversations. So this story was written not because I wasn't satisfied with other works on this subject. I actually LOVE those so very much and I can never give the same high level of writing and the language like these talented authors. But when I was writing it, I felt like I sorted it out in my own head. Like I could understand Athena better. And when I finished I decided to publish it here anyway. At least, one more Bathena story wouldn't hurt, lol.  
> Thank you, my dear beta & friend Ephiffany for fixing it and encouraging me! But all mistakes are mine. I don't own anything besides the frustration, that we have too little of Bathena lately, and even this little dose is clouded now.  
> Thank you everybody, who'd stand by and read!

When Athena asked him on the phone how did the camping trip go, Bobby hesitated for a second, but decided to not go into details. He said they were all fine. Athena asked how Michael was doing and after Bobby reassured her that he’s okay and they’ll be back when she gets home after her shift, she hung up the phone without any words.

That was typical for her lately. She stopped saying “I love you” or “take care” or even kissing him in the morning before he leaves for the station. And worse when he gets back home from his shift. She was solely focused on Michael.

From the start Bobby was okay with the situation, because what could be worse for anyone than to understand that you are dying. He tried to do whatever Michael needed him to do, and of course he was there for Athena and the kids too.

But the more time passed, the more he began to feel himself out of the place in this family. He felt he became some kind of fixture in the background. And that his opinions and wishes weren’t interesting or a concern for anyone.

When he first realized these feelings, he tried to decide what to do. Should he go talk to Athena about it? She seemed miles away from him now. So distant, so closed up inside. Does she need this conversation at all? He had serious doubts about the whole situation. On the other hand, he knew from the experience and from his therapist, that things that aren’t being discussed never disappear. They seem to hang over their heads all the time. It just accrues more and more then releases through some unexpected explosions. Or they just silently kill all the love and trust in between two people and Bobby didn’t want that for him and Athena.

Still he hadn’t a gut to start that conversation. He went to work everyday and tried to live his own little challenges and interests. He just came home after his shift and helped with the household routines, was there for kids and everything else.

By the time he came from the bathroom, Athena was already half asleep or she tried to share some news with him before going to sleep. News about Michael. 

Today was the day when Bobby felt a little bomb inside him that began to form. And it was at risk to explode very soon. After the dinner he went into the bedroom to watch some Nat Geo Wild programs. He didn’t want to talk to Athena while the kids were around her and she was surfing the internet about something (probably Michael related).

He sat in front of the TV and once again tried to get some courage to start the conversation with Athena. But he knew her reaction without even trying it. Of course, she’ll get mad at him. She would blame him for the lack of understanding and claim he is being selfish. And part of him was ashamed of his inability to ignore his own needs now when another man was dying and probably living his last year of life. But another part of him was resisting staying invisible for his family. He literally didn’t know what to do. Both options felt equally wrong to him.

He was buried deep in his thoughts, when Athena entered the bedroom. It was almost midnight she silently started to prepare for bed.

“Bobby? Are you okay?” – She suddenly asked.

Bobby came out of a stupor of reverie. “Yes, why?”

“You're all dressed up sitting on the bed…you came upstairs right after the dinner and sat here alone. You didn’t even prepare for bed yet….” – Athena counted perplexedly.

“Wow. And you happened to notice.” – Bobby said with barely noticeable sarcasm in his voice.

“What is going on with all this sarcasm?” – Athena raised her voice in surprise.

“It’s about that you finally noticed something about me. Which is new lately, because I have the feeling that I turned in some kind of furniture or device… Which is invisible unless it stops working properly.” – answered Bobby. He wasn’t prepared to start that conversation the way it did. It was impromptu and it went more emotional than necessary or as he thought.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” – stated Athena dryly. The annoyance in her voice was obvious.

“Look, Athena… I don’t want to fight, okay? I sat here thinking how to start this conversation, but I didn’t get any idea. It seems that there is no right answer. I understand that you are having a hard time now, that you focused on Michael, who is dealing with a terrible deadly disease. And I know that you are trying to keep kids away from bad thoughts and all…” – Bobby started.

“Well, thank you for acknowledging that.” – Athena replied defiantly raising her hand.

Bobby started to feel numb. After a pause he continued: “Can I talk about myself in this house? Are you ready to listen to me without snapping on me?”

“Sure, go ahead.” – Athena pronounced with a fake encouragement.

“You know, maybe I shouldn’t say it all Athena. I tried to keep it all to myself for weeks… But today I just realized that I can’t anymore…” – Bobby continued.

“And what is that you can’t do, I’m all ears.” – Athena was all on the defensive.

Her tone was hurtful for Bobby, but he decided to make it to the end no matter what, if he already started.

“I feel out of the place in this house. I feel redundant. You don’t talk to me, don’t ask about my day, don’t notice me…like I don’t even exist anymore.”

“That is complete bullshit, Bobby. I do notice you!” – Athena shot back.

“Really?? Then maybe you know what these new pills on my nightstand are for? Because I take them 2 weeks already, and you didn’t even ask”. – Bobby objected.

Athena felt taken aback. Not only she didn’t ask about the pills, but in fact she didn’t really notice the small bottle. Bobby was right. She was so inside her own mind, that she didn’t see him.

“Okay… What are these pills for?” – her voice tone had changed from angry to the concerned.

“There are some side effects from radiation that manifested only now. It’s not a big deal, but the doctor said I better take them for prevention.” – Bobby confessed.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you visited the doctor? Did you have some health issues?” – Athena narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

“No, it was a planned visit. You probably forgot that by 10th of every three month I have to visit the doctor. And I didn’t want to add to your worries Athena. But it would just be nice if you were interested not only in Michael.” – Bobby finished. His face features saddened. – “I forgot when was the last time that you kissed me hello or goodbye… I don’t even dare to mention sex…”

“Ahhh” – Athena sighed loudly. – “Bobby, I was just too…”. She stopped. She understood that she had nothing to argue. – “I've just been so tired these days, I’m sorry it was just too much for me. I thought you’d understand.”

She knew she would get aggressive again for no reason. Her current husband felt neglected while she was fully concentrated on ex-one.

“I do understand it. And I don’t ask for too much. Just some little displays of attention. Just notice me, just ask me how am I doing once in a while…” – Bobby’s voice got bitter.

Athena stood in indecision and tugged at the waistband of her robe. That conversation wasn’t leading them into the good place, she thought. Suddenly she decided what she should do.

“Okay Bobby, come on, look at me.” – She said coming closer to him, taking off her robe and settling down on his lap. She put a hand on his shoulder and tried to kiss him. She thought she had enough energy for quickie today and if that can help Bobby to stop being upset, she was ready to pick up the vibe.

It appears, it wasn’t what Bobby was eager for.

“Athena…” – He said confusedly. – “It’s not about the sex. It’s about our connection.”

“So now you’re rejecting me?” – Athena exclaimed. – “Look Bobby, come to your senses, okay? You said you want attention, here I am, ready to give you attention! But see, this is still not what you need!”

“I wasn’t talking about some senseless sex… I’m sorry if you still didn’t get that. Means we already lost our connection at all…” – shot Bobby. – “And just to inform you – I have to confirm my certification as Captain this year and it’s better if I go for the preparations and go study for these next couple of days. I will be away for 2 weeks, so nothing will distract you from caring about Michael.”

Bobby stood up and locked himself in the bathroom.

That was a plot twist, Athena thought. She sat at the edge of the bed and leaned her head on her hand. She was ready to acknowledge that honestly she perfectly understood what Bobby meant. But something inside her was so tense and tough, that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t relax.

She tried to listen to herself, how she feels about Bobby leaving on the studying… He really was invisible lately, but he was comfortable being in the background. So she didn’t feel like she’s alone with the burden of Michael’s cancer.

Bobby got out of the bathroom ready for bed.

“Bobby, don’t you dare to run away from me now.” – Athena said calmly despite her sharp words.

“I am not running away from YOU Athena, I'm running away from the feeling of uselessness, from the feeling of being a background, a shadow. I’m running away from the feeling that my wife is not my wife anymore. And was she ever really mine, I wonder? I run away from the feeling of fatal disconnection, of being misheard and from the feeling that I don’t know what to do with all this. Maybe for you I was just a replacement while Michael had someone else? But now, when he has nobody you can get back to being a family with him?” – Bobby bursted. – “Don’t answer. I can predict every word of yours, okay? And you don’t really want to hear me now. So I better leave tomorrow morning and we’ll see after those 2 weeks, where we are.”

Athena sat silently having no idea how to act and what to say. In fact she didn’t want Bobby to leave. But she had no energy to give him all her attention either. She simply couldn’t hold herself together.

“I don’t want you to leave.” – She said after a pause. Bobby lied in the bed, covered himself with the blanket and turned off his light. – “But I won’t lie, I really feel on the edge of the stress now and that’s why I have no energy for you. What I would want the most – is for Michael to recover and find himself some good guy. I wish he was just okay, so he wouldn’t lean on me, hell on us… But I can’t turn him down, when he’s alone and any day can be his last, Bobby.” – She sighed deeply.

Bobby showed no signals of possible feedback.

“Please, Bobby.. I need you to accept everything as it is right now… 2 weeks of your absence won’t change anything. I agree it’s unfair that you have to sacrifice your needs for the sake of my ex-husband… But Bobby, I didn’t plan it all. I’m all over the place, I can barely breathe, I can’t even inhale. But I try to function as needed and it’s not always easy for me to balance. If you leave and I won’t have your help and your backup, that will make it even harder.” – She stopped for a minute to see Bobby’s reaction.

He turned around in bed to her. He understood her. He understood himself. He couldn’t decide which of them had to sacrifice more. He tried to find some compromise.

“I hear you.” – He said. – “But I do need an hour per day. Maybe an hour every three days. But this hour has to be just OURS, Athena. I don’t demand you to do something for me, that you have no energy for. I only ask you to talk to me, to be emotionally here with me, to be honest, to not shut me off. Is that too much to ask of you?”

Athena was trying to think, but her exhausted brain refused to work and she only could think about the pillow and several hours of sleep right now.

“I will try my best I promise you, Bobby.” – She finally responded. – “I don’t promise I’ll succeed, but I will try. I never wanted you to feel this shitty and I’m truly sorry for that. I promise you to give all I got as soon as this situation changes for the better. Can you deal with that?” Her voice was soft and calm.

Athena got to bed and settled onto Bobby’s chest. She couldn’t talk anymore, her eyes were closing and she fell asleep without turning off her light.

Bobby was silently watching Athena’s face, thinking about all that had been said. He was still a bit mad at her and unsatisfied. But watching at her sleeping tired face he felt immense warmth which spread inside him. He loved her too much and didn’t want to stay away from her. He felt good that they had this talk. Of course, he can’t leave her now with all the tension alone. He’ll stay by her side, because all in all watching her sleeping beautiful face was worth it.

**~ _The end_**


End file.
